Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
