I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
