thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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