she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
