still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
