Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
