When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
