I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
