I hate all girls vehemently.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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