the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I am naked and annoyed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
