do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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