Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
