It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
