I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
