In the future we'll all be gay
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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