It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
