I think i peed on brittanys purse
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize