I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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