just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
