Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
