The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
did i walk over a car last night?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
