I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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