So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
