Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
