i don't like sucking hair
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize