Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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