Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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