so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
