I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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