Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
one might say we're banned from that church
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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