we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
