god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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