Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
