I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize