but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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