I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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