u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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