they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
