Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
