If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
