If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
