There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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