he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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