i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
