So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
