non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
