I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
