i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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