It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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