I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
