My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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