I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
