so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
