i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
