so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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