no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
