Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize