I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize