I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
