Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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