You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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