I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
