sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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