Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
