No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
