She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
