im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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