I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
