Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
